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12:02 pm
Mon April 2, 2012

Sandwich Monday: The Ballpark Burger

Originally published on Mon April 2, 2012 10:29 am

Major League Baseball stadiums have so many treats to offer: hot dogs, hamburgers, nachos, Human Growth Hormone. Just in time for Opening Day, Poag Mahone's in Chicago has combined three out of four of those in the Ballpark Burger: a hot dog topped hamburger, with a side of nachos.

Mike: This is a fine duet. It's like Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers doing Islands in the Stream.

Ian: What part of the Kenny Rogers does this meat come from?

Ian: The hot dog is that annoying guy who doesn't have a car and always has to catch a ride with cheeseburger.

Robert: To his credit, he does provide gas.

Mike: The hot dog and hamburger are just crammed in there together and neither one can escape.

Robert: Just like my mother and father and--

Mike: Whoa whoa. Somebody needs to visit the Hamburger Psychologist.

Peter: I'm removing the hot dogs. Too hard to eat.

Molly: They should have done a hot dog rinse. Like vermouth with a martini, just rubbed the hot dog on the burger to get its smoky essence, then thrown it away.

Robert: Now I'm ready for the seventh inning retch.

Peter: This isn't right. Combining the hot dog with the hamburger.

Mike:It's like the End Times.

Ian:Yeah, I think this is prophesied in Lipidations 34:3.

[The verdict: delicious components, but difficult to eat. Some disassembly required.]

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